Detachment from the Goal

 5th March 2024, I am sitting in my hostel room and something clicked me, its been bugging me for months now as if something is missing or I am incomplete can't tell exactly but I have a vague idea that I am in search for attention or care or let's address love from someone particular.

Now I thought to myself why am I not self sufficient for myself to convince that I should live on, why even I am searching for it so desperately that and all I do all day is find reasons to punish myself giving by thinking of ways I could have achieved that if  I did that differently, but does it really even help it tells me that I am capable of doing things in a right way but at that point i don't because I am not that so I need some change, okay what change.

I have read it many times like in the book "Think like a Monk" or "Subtle art of not giving a F**k" that its the thinking too much about the goal or in Mark's language giving too much fuck about things is the problem they are not achievable its the thought that reinforces that you lack that and need it, okay but everybody need love or feel they are cared about what's wrong in that, nothing but its the way I am thinking of getting it never going to work, i want to believe in this strategy of detaching oneself from the goal and live in the moment to actually achieve it, why does it work and why does always thinking about the goal does not, I already answered my question isn't it of I am always thinking too much about it how am I even gonna get up and do something about it and even if the opportunity presents itself I am going to probably overthink about it and never actually improve then how I ever gonna improve then how to detach from the goal and move forward then.

Okay I think it is too much for one day how about we take this question for another day.